I took apart my 45-70 RCBS expander and was able to completely expand and flare the 458 brass with it by removing the set (lock) nut.
Best I can tell, the RCBS expander is slightly larger than the Lee, it's also a lot slicker feeling and easier to use.
I am getting another sizer (like Duke said) but I'm not sure yet if it will be .458" or .459".
If the ring shaving persists, I will devise a better way than a sand trap to retrieve the bullets to see where it's coming from.